Its been what, 2-3 years, and though ive dated others, i can not find a good quality guy with the same goals as mine in terms of a relationship: to make the other person happy.
this one, i have yet to have a full opinion on, because i dont have much to go off of.
We call each other to say goodnight. It reminds me of middle school. Its cute.
Laying in bed thinking about how much I’ve changed yet stayed the same.
Kinda smiling and crying at the thought of you.
My love for you is endless. Not “oh I like you again”. No. I never stopped loving you. My first love, the only one I’ve ever loved.
Thinking back, I’ve never ranted about you or got irritated at you in our relationship. You were my best friend. I could never stop caring about you. The love I feel is not “I can’t stop thinking about you & I’m crazy for you”, it’s more of “you will never leave my mind”- does that make sense? It’s a slow kind of love.
Sometimes I just wish I could tell you, just to let you know in case you were wondered. Not to get back together or to make you feel something, but just to let you know that though we don’t talk, and we just like each other’s pictures once in a while, you never ever lost me.
And I will still do anything for you.
Though I am with another, I will always have a spot for you. You were one of the greatest blessings I could ever imagine having. I look for you in everyone.
Even when I see you with another, and I know it will fucking kill me (“I won’t forget our memories, they’ll just be replaced with new ones”- you were so bad with words sometimes omg lol), I will still be happy for you, because you are happy.
It makes me happy to see you having fun with new friends and out biking, doing what you love.
I need to go to sleep.
I’m in what is a ground level of Alex’s apartment. The outside walls have been turned into glass providing a nice view of the outdoors. Very modern. There’s some refurbishing going on, like reprinting the walls. Something feels odd. I can’t put my finger on it.
I plug my phone into the wall to charge, and a minute later I see smoke coming from it. A lot of smoke. I unplug it, but the smoke knocks me out. It’s a gas. I’m laying on the floor, and I hear 2 people outside saying “is anybody there?”. It’s a girl and guy, looks like they were trying to move in. I think “why are they looking here when Alex lives here?”. After I gain full consciousness, I lay still till the couple turns their packs and scurry to the door. I get there, get out.
As I’m locking the apartment door, a police officer passes me in a wheel chair, looking constipated. I can’t help but notice a notepad with black and white head shots attached to the door of the apartment.
I flip through them. They’re men of different ages. Some have “found” written on them. Some don’t. They all have the address of Alex’s apartment as their listed address.
Then it clicked. This address is where a killer targets and decides who their next victim is.
I don’t know how, but I hurry and look up another apartment for Alex to live in. I haven’t told him that he’s in danger yet. I find one. I show him and say “I know we’re not serious yet, but it would be like temporarily living together. Id be with you 4 days out of the month so I’ll pay you $150 and you cover the rest. It’s still close to your school and stuff”. He agrees without hesitation.
We get in my car and drive to the new apartment. It’s in the middle of a small canyon. It looks cozy, but it’s a large shared house. I see it. It’s a pale green surrounded by trees. I feel at ease that I saved Alex. I say “see, it’s not that bad” as we walk up to it. I see pieces of wood nailed to the main doors. It’s been closed.
We walk back to my car hand in hand.
Were about 15 feet from my car, and this asian girl with shirt black hair in a red tank top, a jean mini skirt, and black leggings (about 17-19 years old?) pops up in front of me. She’s holding gasoline. She holds it up as if advertising it to us, tilts her head and smiles, and starts pouring if on the ground. I go “no don’t do that!!” as I extend my arm out to her. Still pouring, she walks towards my car. Damn. This crazy bitch is about to about to set my car on fire.
I lost my temper. I grab the gasoline from her, hold her down by her neck and pin had down on my windshield. I pour the gasoline on too of her head, getting some on my windshield. I shake her by the neck with my left hand screaming “YOU LIKE THAT SHIT?”. She’s coughing “no you don’t understand!”. I let her go. She slides off of my windshield onto the floor like a dead frog. She looks up at me, then down. “You don’t understand..I was helping you.. I was trying to buy you time..”. I look up to my right and see a woman walking a dog. I decide that I’m going to ask her for help. I grab our attacker by the neck again out of frustration and tell Alex to hold her. He does with both hands with a determined look in his eyes, it also looked like uncertainty.
I jog to the woman walking the dog. Im confused. She’s not waking a dog. She’s walking an asian girl. She’s about 7-11 years old. She has a mud and dirt on her face with a dark blueish tint to it. She’s exhausted. Who knows how long she’s been drawling.
The little girl collapses, and a cannon goes off, like HungerGames. The one walking her goes “___(girls name) is dead!”,and her hand goes up. Who is she notifying?
This white shiny car comes. I walk to it. This tall, slim, short haired, porcelain skinned woman is driving it. She’s wearing a dark lip color, and is very attractive in a scary way. She rolls down the window and asks me a simple question. Forgot what it was but I say “yes”. Suddenly I’m grabbed. I don’t know from where or by whom. I just know that everything is black.
I open my eyes and I, along with other women, are standing in 2 rows facing each other. Were in a white room, on 2 raised platforms. There’s some pink and green sofas in here. Looks like a fashion magazine place. Were dancing to music, more like 2 stepping side to side as if we were chained by our ankles. A large man in a tan suit keeps waking around us. We are somehow aware that we will be tortured. I hear “if you try to escape, he’ll shoot you!”. The attractive woman from earlier says it. The man in the tan suit pulls out his gun to show us. There’s about 15 of us.
I wonder why we’re being forced to dance right now. My thoughts were interrupted by the attractive woman from earlier. She orders everyone to sit down. She asks if anyone has medical problems. Those who do have to fill out a form. They got to leave. 9 girls left. 6 suddenly raised their hands moaning and groaning. “You can’t all be possibly sick!”. I raise my hand too. “Oh and you too?” she says at me with a raised eyebrow. “No” I reply, “just a question”.
This is like just duty. 9 days of torture. Some people released for real reasons and when the rest see those excused people leave, the hands of the others fly up.
She sits next to me on the sofa and tells me to ask my question now.
"I understand that this lasts for 9 days. I was supposed to go to the clinic to get my mediocre for my cellulitis. I’m starting to break out again because I’m
out of my acne medication”. She rolls her eyes. I continue. “When I break out, my acne can get infected and turn to cellulitis. I’ll need medical attention. and I need my medicine within the next 2 days.” I purposely leave out that the cellulitis infection can kill me because I felt like she would’ve just let it happen.
She ponders, then tells me to get the paperwork from upstairs.
Just before I’m about to get up, I see my friend Kat walk in with 1 or 2 guy friends. She asks the attractive woman, “hi! Do you know what this place is?” with a smile. Kat is a really bubbly person. It made me feel safe to see a familiar face.
The main boss exits. She’s an asian woman. 27-34. Long black hair. Kinda petite. Wearing white latex all over with a pink stripe on the sides. Bubble butt. She has on black sunglasses. She must think she’s the shit.
The attractive woman asks what Kat’s name was, then proceeds to ask “Kat, is it? What is your favorite color?”. I realize this is how she got me. I try looking left and right as if to shake my eyes “no” to Kat. She doesn’t see me. She answers “Its blue”. The attractive woman goes “And is blue your favorite color?”. Kat says yes.
They got Kat. Somehow, she was ordered to fetch some other paperwork.
I go up to the 4th floor by using the spiral white staircase. I look over it and ask down to the attractive woman “what floor was it again? 4th?”. “NO!” she yells. “It’s on the 1st floor”. She meant second. I go to the second level. These floors don’t make sense. The stairs lead to nothing. Hard to explain. I see Kat on the second floor.
Suddenly, were outside. My car is parked infront. What a relief, I can go home. I wonder why no one has reported this torture place, maybe out of fear that they’ll be killed too. I was scared.
Kat is outside too. She casually gets into the passenger seat as if we had already spoken about me driving her home. I dont know if she’s escaping or if she had permission. Either way, I couldn’t kick her out and leave her in this hell. I was afraid that if she was running away, they’d shoot us both. I drive to the exit smiling. Turns out there’s a pole in the middle of the road. Had to turn around and go through this random parking structure. Idk where it came from.
I woke up. Laying my bed, feeling heavy. I was scared. Had to remind myself that it was a dream.It has taken me an hour and a half to type this from my phone. I’m afraid of going back to sleep. I don’t want my unfinished nightmare to continue. I have work in 3 hours.
So I’m in a room that’s apparently mine, at night. The lights are off. Aly’s mom from PLL bursts in through the window, pins me on the wall, and starts stabbing me on the chest with a large kitchen knife. Almost immediately after, Spencer’s mom pushes the door open and says “Here’s your dead daughter!” To Aly’s mom. She’s holding a body by the wrist, as if raising it up like a kill from a championship. The eyes of the lifeless body glowed red.
I woke up, from the feeling that my bed was shaking as if someone was crawling in it.